Beating our Hearts

'Oh really' he remarked. 'Lets just say I would happily be using that pretty little blade of yours if not for the fact you are now going down with me.' He sighed. 'And in reality all that probably will happen is I throw away this one oppurtunity and never get it back. By comparison I think your temporary loss is hardly balanced.'
He took her hand, but he was wary of any way she may try and bleed him. Instead he kept her weapons away from her, and hold her hands tight so she could not distract him. Taking her and essentially sitting her on his lap, he clutched her wrists and refused to let go. 'We are going to sit here and wait it out' he said sternly. However he knew at some point she would get thirsty, for water that is, or hungry. Something would mean she would have to go, but he didn't know if he could trust her.

She was on the edge of crying in pure frustration and hit his chest with all of her power, well aware it wouldn't hurt him, she wanted to let her frustration with him out. The most annoying part was him keeping her here where she could not go out to feed off the yellow-eyed demon instead.
"You can't stay here forever," she muttered. "If anyone sees us..." Her mind was blurry and clouded with thirst, but she still knew it would look far too bad if Proteus were to climb the stairs to the spire only to find her in his arms. She didn't really think much about it other than having an excuse to have him let go of her. Though she enjoyed the intimacy the close proximity to his skin was torture in her state.

'I don't care' he muttered. 'We've got your bag of weapons, and my blade, and I'll stop them if I have to.' He didn't care if she protested, but he would not let her go. 'Now shh' he said, trying to calm her. 'The more you struggle the more difficult this will be.'
He wanted to kiss her to shut her up, and distract her momentarily. But even that he could not trust of her, and he was certain she would bite his lip given the chance. If the worst came to the worst he knew he would feed her. He couldn't have her going to Azazel and being so easily weakened by them. If any demon caught her like this she was almost certainly going to be killed.
'You have to promise me even if we are spotted and I have to leave that you won't go to another demon for blood' he said, looking at her. 'Come back to me if you have to, but anyone else and they will just use it against you, and kill you when you run out of use.'

He had refused to promise her when she had asked, and so she saw no reason why she should do him any favors. She still knew she would try her best not to. She was stubborn, and liked least of all to reveal her weaknesses. No one but Rin was allowed to see them, and she even felt voulnerable with him. It didn't seem long ago they had been playing their little game. Too much had changed in such a short time, it was hard to adjust.
"Not Proteus," she said as she was shaking in his arms. "Don't kill him," she begged. There were different ways to deal with Proteus, she was sure. He was not the type of man to stab her in the back without considering it for a while first, and she was certain she could talk him out of it again.

'Why not?' he snapped, but he decided now was not a time to get into a fight over the humans. Instead he tried to calm her, stroking her skin soothingly as he held her. 'Please just come to me if the time comes' he said, earnestly. 'I promise I'll help you if I have to.'
He kissed her neck rather than her mouth, away from her teeth and any means of which she could cut him. Gently he continued the gesture. 'It will be over soon' he said carefully.

"I'm hurting, not stupid," she snapped at him. She knew it would not be over soon, she had seen Cinderella, and she was sure she had far more in her system than Cindy ever had. This would take days, weeks, maybe months, she didn't know, but it would not be over soon, and he did not help by staying this close. She could smell his skin, clearly see the veins in his body, but was refrained from doing anything further. It was torture. Like holding a starving man outside of McDonalds, forcing him to watch everyone eat from the windows. It was unfair, and cruel.
Instead of smelling his skin she turned her head, burrowing her face in Proteus' jacket, smelling the leather instead. She knew why she didn't want him dead. If she wanted to or not, she liked the guy. He had been kind to her, though he had no reason to, and he was her only true ally, more reliable than Rin even. She couldn't deny she had grown rather fond of him, though she supposed she had only made him fear and hate her lately.

'You are hurting no more than I am' he snapped. 'Its just your mind over matter. Regardless I'm not letting you leave and run for the first signs of blood you can. The humans can hardly stop you.'
He knew he was not helping staying, but he had nowhere to go and he did not trust her without him. However he carefully moved away and let go of her hands. If she were to try and bleed him now it would just prove his own point, and also show him how bad she really was.
Personally if Proteus showed up he would happilly kill him, even if she protested. After all he had nothing to fear if he believed heaven was waiting for him. Her reactions and gestures were not helping to convince him otherwise, and only making him all the more glad to do it.

"The fuck are you on about?!" she yelled at him as she curled up to a ball, hiding her face between her knees. She didn't like feeling this weak, but she didn't have any control. It was either this or lashing out at him, and this seemed to be the better option of the two.
"I'm stuck in a cathedral with monsters, I'm craving demon blood, my family is dead, slaughtered by your kind, I'm going to Hell, I just sold my fucking soul, my one and only crush is a demon, and you're telling me you're supposed to hurt the same way I am?" she laughed with every sentence, as if finding some bitter joke in her whole existence. "You have no idea what Hell I've been through, I'll take your kind of Hell any fucking day!"
She was crying and laughing all at the same time as she slowly got to her knees.

He moved towards her bag quickly before she could, keeping it away from her. He only reached in to pick up the new blade Calcifer had given her, careful not to let it touch his skin. He had no idea how it worked in the slightest, and he wasn't desperate to find out right now. 'You have no idea what I've been through too' he glared coldly. 'No idea. But of course we all make fucking assumptions in here I suppose, and of course your months of suffering must be far beyond anything that could have possibly happened in thousands upon thousands of years.' He was beginning to spit his words with evident sarcasm, as her spoilt human nature shone through. She had no idea of how time in Hell was warped, of how long she would have to suffer. Furthermore she didn't have a clue what his life had been like, or what he had gone through. All her problems were so short term and menial by comparison.
Carefully he slid the knife across the floor towards her. 'If you want blood so fucking bad use that. I'm sure it will be a perfect way to test it out' he smirked. 'Then I guess we'll both get our way.' He was running out of paitence with her, and it was enough to demand rash decisions.

Her eyes widened in fear, and as he slid the knife towards her she grabbed it so fast and hard she cut her palm, but she did not care. She just wanted it away from him, so that he may never harm himself with it. His words hurt her more than she would let on, but as she shakily got to her feet, tightening her grip on the knife she only looked at him for a long time as if his words had been too stupid to believe.
She took the bag and placed the knife inside before she dropped it to the floor behind her. She would never use it against him. Ever.
"I don't want you dead," she said, obviously angry at how he would even suggest such a horrible thing.

'And why is that?' he said bitterly. 'You seem to phrase it as such a burden after all' he muttered sarcastically.
However he was glad that at least something had controlled her bloodlust, even momentarily, and he stepped back away from her and the bag where the knife stood. Holding it had been a surreal experience in itself, and he did not want to be any closer to it than she did. Although it was prehaps what he wanted, he could not fight the smallest sensations of fear. It was more powerful than any demon could ever be, and worthy of bringing even the most powerful of beings down, and he was glad it was out of his hands.

"Because I love you!" she lashed out angrily, biting down hard on her lip as soon as she realized the words she had uttered and took a step back, looking away from him. Had she even meant it? She had never felt the sensation of love before, but this surely must be it, right? In either case it was beyond wrong to tell him, and she was sure in that moment she had ruined everything they had shared together for that short instance.
Grabbing her bag from the floor she forced herself to stop breathing, stop shaking, and not look at him. As she tried to walk hastily around him and to the stairs she hoped he would not stop her this time. The shame and degrace was more than she could bear right now, and she was in no mood for his upcoming mockeries, or even anger. What had she thought when she slipped up so gravely?

He stared blankly at her in shock, paralysed as a fear far greater washed over him. No one had said those words in a long time, nor ever should in his mind, and the fact that she had terrifyed him. He only snapped back to his senses when he saw she was leaving, grabbing her with an outstretched arm and preventing her from going any further.
He looked at her with a form of pitiful confusion, and most importantly sympathy. Of all that she had complained about, he believed love was her truely worst ailment.
Looking down then he only noticed that his arm too was shaking, but he ignored it as he looked at her hesistantly. 'I still can't let you go' he said simply. However he was not particularly concerned for her need for blood anymore. She was far more vulnerable than he once assumed.

His expression only aggrivated her, but she was glad he didn't say anything.
"As long as you shut up," she told him, not wanting this to be discussed any more than he did. Whatever he thought he felt for her she assumed it was far from love, and she had just put herself in an extremely voulnerable situation, giving up her truest weakness. She knew he could always use this to win over her, and the knowledge made her cringe. Never had she felt more stupid, nor more naked in front of him.
As he touched her she couldn't help but try to jerk her arm away, burnt once again by his touch, and her ever so increasing thirst. It annoyed her, but she would no longer ask, even if it was obvious by the way she kept staring at his arm, and how she kept shaking whenever he got close to her. His touch had made her eyes water with frustration and it was all she could do not to jump on him then and there.

He continued to stare at her for a moment in sympathy, but he knew that what he was attempting to do was all but impossible in a place like this. She had extremely little left to live as it was, as reluctant as he was to admit it, and all the more she was surrounded by demons. Even if he tried to rid her of her addiction, she would probably find a means in which to resume it once more.
'I guess I'm the one to be sorry this time' he said weakly, as he looked at the knife in his belt. It would be so easy to just give in and feed her, after all it would hardly affect him. But he was worried she would grow more and more demanding if he did, and he had no idea just how long she would be able to cope without if so. All he could think of was regret ever giving her blood in the first place. Even if she had died then she would have never been able to make a deal with Calcifer, or be in half the mess she was in now.
Reluctantly he reached for his knife in his belt, and outstretched his forearm as he did, making it obvious what he was about to do. He looked at her, to check she was certain. He knew she must feel horrible now, but he hoped that if she had a shread of resistance left she would be able to stop him. If not however this was the only way to keep her from the wreck she was now.

She stared from his arm to his eyes as it became obvious what he was about to do. She wanted to speak, but her throat was just too dry, and as she saw him hesitating it was all she could do not to take his knife and do it herself. She felt ashamed of course, and scared, emotions that were all too real on her face, but she needed this, and there was no way she would stop him now that he was finally giving it to her.
She nodded once, rather quickly, as if to tell him to do it, and tried to keep eye-contact, though her eyes kept glancing at his outstretched arm.

He stared at her remorsefully as she responded as desperately as a wild animal would, but he took the blade regardless and quickly cut across his forearm, barely feeling the injury by comparison to what he was long used to. Carefully he moved the knife away and allowed her to drink, but to him the entire situation felt surreal and ridiculous. However it was far too late to go back, and Miriam had already latched on to what he had given her. He had no idea what would come next, or in the future as a result, and he was certain he would soon regret this. However for now he knew the ordeal of forcing her to stop would be more trouble than he could be bothered with. After all, she had no real future, he had to remind himself, on account of her own actions. And yet she was barely recognisable now.

She drank until she was satisfied, but as soon as she felt no more greater need she forced herself away from him, not wanting to make the situation worse than it had already gotten. Blood was dripping down her chin, but she barely noticed it. What she did notice was the familiar strength she felt after feeding. It seemed so surreal, like she had never felt before, but she felt like she could do anything at all in that instance. Anything but stop herself, she realized regretably.
She wiped the blood away on Proteus' sleeve and looked back at Rin. The shame of her last few actions was not only hard to bear, it made her wonder about the way he saw her. She was so far from herself that day, not anything like the girl he had once liked, and it scared her, knowing he was a demon, how quickly he could change his mind about her. She had witnessed him do so before. She glanced at him, hoping to find some hint of what he was thinking, but quickly drove the idea away. Instead, it was replaced with her natural coldness, the facade she had managed to retrieve with her strength.

'I guess you call me when you need me then' he said bitterly, not sure how long that her calmed state would last. He placed his hand around the wound to try and still the bleeding, not particularly for his own sake but for hers in case she grew impaitent again. He decided it was better to be careful than have to repeat what had happened earlier.
He was worried about her, but he was also annoyed, regardless of whether it was her fault or not. If the time came and she needed more he would give it to her- he'd rather provide her with it than any one else- and yet he would always be reluctant and disappointed.
There was little reason for him to stay now, but equally there was little reason to go. Instead he stayed where he was, somewhat tired from the blood loss, unsure what to do next.

"If I can find you," she shrugged. She was unsure whether she would dare to venture into the rectory on her own if she wanted blood, even if she did have her weapon with her. Truth be told, blood was a disgusting and shameful think to drink, but if it had to be anyone, she would rather drink from Rin. In a way, it made her feel somewhat close to him, more intimacy than she knew she could gain from him in any other way. He was a demon, this should probably be counted as intimacy in their situation, there was little more they ever did that could be considered the same.
She used her own saliva to rub the blood stains off of her face, and though she had no mirror to check she was fairly certain they were gone now.
She sat down against the wall, no longer trying to escape him even if she felt uncomfortable knowing he had just witnessed the weakest moment of her life, and on top of that revealed her feelings through words that should have never been uttered. She was angry at herself for that.
"What's your plan? For escaping Lillith?" she asked, trying to change the subject over on something that seemed immediatly more important.

He shrugged, surpised at himself over how unphased he was. 'No means of escaping her at the end of the day' he said. Of course there was Miriam's knife which could stop her, but her presence would still be felt long after.
'If we were able to get out of here it would be very easy to go rogue' he said. 'But you can't hide forever, so its probably best to get it over with now.'
In all honesty all she could inflict on him was physical pain, that he was beyond used to. However he was aware she was clever, and most likely jealous, and he honestly believed if anyone should be worried it would be her not him.
'They say she was the first demon' he said, trying not to sound too doting. 'Shes part of our creation, and more powerful than you can possibily think. You might want to consider the reprocussions of what you do before you decide to make any rash judgements.'

"Looked like a whimp if you ask me," she mumbled, remembering her face the one time she had seen her briefly. Her body was weak, as was her actions, and her face had revealed nothing but confusion. The fact Calcifer had used her to kneel on had probably not helped her opinion of her.
She grabbed the bottle of holy water from her bag and gulped down several big swallows. Blood was sweet, but thick, and it felt like her throat was closing up. She put it back just as quickly though, knowing Rin would probably be rather on edge around it.

He rolled his eyes. 'You are judging by appearances' he said. 'You will learn soon enough of all the things she has done. Stories run wild, especially in young demons.' He smirked. 'I suppose its best she didn't choose a child this time then, after all they are her favourite. Doubt you would take her seriously at all then.'
He kept an eye on the holy water, but after what he knew he was not at all threatened by her. 'So.. think you'll need more anytime soon?' He really had no idea of how this would work, but he wanted to make sure she wouldn't have to come back for more for a while.

"Good," she stated flatly. "I wouldn't want to kill a kid." Her voice was hard and cold, even if she was terrified. Though her hatred ran deep for her, and she would not give up an opportunity to slit her throat, she could not ignore what she was, and had to admit she felt threatened by it.
"I can deal until tomorrow," she muttered, not wanting to speak of blood any longer, and so she shrugged it off. She didn't know when Rin would leave her, but in any case at least he knew when to come back. If he had the chance.. she was still scared he would be taken and tortured, despite the yellow-eyed demons promises. She had learnt soon enough never to trust a demon, she still didn't even trust Rin.

'If the kid is Lillith surely you shouldn't care' he sighed. 'Why does age make any difference?'
He removed his hand when he felt the wound had dried, already starting to heal.
Tomorrow wasn't very long, he thought, but he supposed it was slightly better. Still he doubted he could get there that soon, especially if he returned to a crowded entrance wing. Hiding from the majority of the demons was somewhat unlikely. Regardless he nodded, knowing he would try and get there if he could.