Beating our Hearts

As he collapsed on her she felt nothing but happiness, her mind leaving her for a moment, pure bliss taking its place. If only every moment could be like this and she could forget the world with him, then everything would finally be alright. But she had lived long enough to know this was never the case. Never would anything in her life be alright, and specially not granted to her at the hands of a demon. Impossible.
Once again she tasted the words on her lips, but would not allow them freedom. He must not know, no one ever should, and though she had slipped up once she begged to everything holy that he would mistake it for a minor slipup and lack of words. Surely she could not mean she loved him, she did not even know what love was until she found him, and yet it seemed so new to her. She begged to let him see it as that.
She let her nails scratch his back to help him relax as her right leg moved to embrace his left. Her heart was by now beating so hard she knew he could feel it, laying on her chest. The same way could he feel her heavy breathing on his skin and the soft, longing moan of a lover's complaint to a world that would be so cruel to those illfaithed. She seemed happy this way, but she knew she never truely could feel happiness to its full extent.
Her mind raced for words to utter, but came up with the same impossible words time after time. She needed to break the silence, but not like this.
"I dreamt of you," she confessed, feeling this was close enough to the truth to satisfy her, without revealing anything he might hurt her with in the future. Though showing weakness, this was relatively safe. "For weeks before I even knew you could feel," she said, smiling at the memory.

He could feel her heart beat and hear her heavy breaths, all indications of how she was alive, and he gently kissed her skin as he listened to her speak, trying to forget what had happened between them as of yet. It was easier when they were lying here, but he knew sooner or later they would have to get up and leave.
He smiled at her words, glad he had always made an impact. However she mocked him, he hoped she never spoke entirely truthfully, for his own pride was something he held most dearly. He could not dream, but he considered as to whether or not he would have been doing the same about her if he could. After all she had certainly been on his mind, as his time with Lillith had proved so clearly. Of course he could not bring himself to say that, for it would only mean talking about her once more which Miriam evidently did not appreciate. Instead he sighed and smiled, resting against her.
He could still remember what she said beforehand, and phrased like that her words had scared him, but here he was less concerned. Aside from being shrouded with worries for the future he could amost say he was happy, far more so than he could remember recently. Whether that was circumstancial, or merely temporary, he did not particularly care, but he decided he would rather that than be left alone in this war.

She stopped scratching his back, not knowing if he had even felt it in the first place, and let her hands rest on his back instead. The world had seemed to stop, yet a clock was ticking in her mind letting her know they had been here too long already. She hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go. Pressing his body against hers she almost felt whole, though she knew as soon as she would let go she would feel broken once again.
"She has white eyes," she muttered, thinking of something she had meant to ask Rin about earlier. She knew she was their leader, and the first demon created, but she had never thought white-eyed demons would excist, and she was curious as to what it meant. As Calcifer had proven with his red eyes and special power, there was great differences in the different eye colors, and if she wanted to kill her in the long run she needed to know, regardless of whether Rin wanted to speak about this or not. She had to know.
"What does it mean?" she asked, staring up at the hole in the ceiling.

'I already told you' he said reluctantly. 'Shes powerful. The most powerful.' He was unsure what of her power still remained in here, but he was convinced that she was not like the rest and entirely limited. 'Alastair has white too though... so I'm undecided as to whether it attributes to their ages as well.' In reality he knew little, nor asked much. Demon eye colours were often just assumed and accepted, rather than questioned. Aside from crossroad demons those who had another eye colour were often extremely old, and the most powerful and commanding. No one ever sought to alter their own colour as they knew it was almost unheard of.
'You shouldn't be concerning yourself with that' he muttered, knowing she probably was asking only because she was planning something foolish.

She smiled to herself and bended her head to kiss his forehead gently.
"What do you think I'll be?" she asked teasingly, deciding to take it lightly instead of letting it depress her. She knew with her lacking people skills she was far from likely to end up red-eyed, and as she was unsure of other eye colors it was normal to assume she would only end up with black. It didn't bother her, in fact it was what she wished to be. It seemed other eyes came with a responcibility she did not wish for, and as she had drowned in Rin's eyes, she could see the slight appeal in the common, black eyes.

'Black' he said hesistantly, not liking to think of it but assuming that was most likely. It was that or red, but there were far fewer crossroad demons than there were the rest. 'Most are' he said simply.
Her human eyes now were all he wanted to see, however looking at them now it was easy to picture the change. He had always seen his eyes as a representation of power, but now he had begun to have his doubts. It seemed more likely that all they revealed was a level of emptiness only those sub-human could achieve, and it seemed much more refreshing to look upon the simple colour of a human iris.

"What?" she asked in an exaggerated gasp, obviously faked.
"You don't think I qualify as red, what with my people skills?" She barely managed to utter the words before she bursted out laughing. For once she felt free and happy, though being able to joke with him like this was rare. In fact, she couldn't remember ever feeling like this with anyone.
In all fairness, Calcifer seemed far more people-friendly than she was, and the thought of having to get so close to humans was not particularly appeasing. She would prefer the common black where she could be independent and on her own, like she always had. She assumed that was what she was used to and what she preferred.

He smiled. 'I can hardly call what they had people skills... more a certainly manipulative ability' he said slightly bitter.
Regardless what she said was true, he could not see her as a red eyed demon. Only black, and the image still scared him. He supposed that was for the best. He would be able to contact her more easily if she was black eyed than red, and constantly on the surface. He could not even fathom a reason why she would be chosen to do that, unless for that exact reason of keeping them apart.

She sighed, knowing his mood was not as light as hers. She stroked his black, tangled hair, focusing on the one good thing that would come out of this deal. At least she would never have to be without him. That was, if he kept his promise. She still somewhat doubted the enticity of his words. What reason would he have for telling the truth when he could so easily lie?
She had learnt rather early in her life that what seemed to good to be true, usually was. This was no exception she knew, but the sweet taste of his lips were more than enough to make her mind wander off the consequenses and risks of what she was doing if it happened to be nothing but false promises on his part. What if her original assumption had been true, and he genuinly could not feel the feelings he was claiming to have?
"Not very talkative are you?" she sighed again, by now giving up the idea of a normal conversation with him.

He smiled weakly, but there was not much he enjoyed talking about when she was referring to her death and Hell. Even if she was curious, it only worried him, and he remained in silence as he thought over their words. Of course, it was difficult to phrase that to her, and instead he kissed her gently. He felt instantly more at ease when he felt her lips against his, and it had ultimately stilled her words too.
He knew that he had to get up off her soon, but he was reluctant when they had not been caught. There was no reason for him to return, even if there was her. He pulled away. 'Was just thinking' he said, stroking her cheek and hoping she wouldn't question his distance anymore.

She eyed him, raising an eyebrow in suspicion. Thinking without speaking must mean he kept something from her, something he would not want her to know, but ultimately she could not complain. They were far from a real couple, though their actions may be deceiving. She had no right to his mind, no more than he had to hers, and so she kept her tounge, however curious she might be. If it was important he'd tell, right?
She reached for the torn top she had borrowed from Cinderella and pulled it over her head. They had to part soon, they both knew it, but even if not someone could catch them any minute and she'd rather not be in her nude when they found them. Looking down on the top however, she realized she might just as well, as the top was covering essentially nothing anymore. Holes and cuts covered more space than the fabric.

He sighed as she started to get dressed, knowing it was probably time he got going too. Moving off her slightly he repeated her actions, reaching for his clothes, starting with his shirt which he pulled over his head. He then stood up, off her, and collected the rest of his clothes. Looking over to where he had come from, he analysed the jump. It seemed perfectly reasonable to do once more, and if the worst happened he could always try and argue he was trying to infiltrate the human base.
He looked back at her as he put on his pants, knowing it was probably time to round up their goodbyes. Even if he did not appreicate what she had done, an ally in Azazel may help him in the long term and he was thankful for that, regardless of what his pride thought. It would make things easier, and he would always have to return to her sooner when she wanted blood again.

She finished dressing, but remained seated on the floor, watching him. She was almost getting used to parting with him, and though she felt an enormous grief over loosing him again so soon, she could do nothing but watch him get ready. She was not about to weaken herself to him just because of her feelings towards him. She was not about to degrade herself, no matter how hard her stomach wretched and turned.
She looked in his direction, knowing he was considering the jump, and her heart sank when she thought about it. There was no guarantee he would make it over, last time he jumped he had even relied on her. She could not catch him this time she knew, and if he fell, it would take weeks to heal all his shattered bones. Even if he could not feel the pain, he would be immobilized for a longer period of time than he could afford under the circumstances.
"Don't fall," she told him sternly, as if he had a choice. In fact he didn't, if he fell it could prove more painful for him than any of them could imagine.

He finished getting dressed and smiled. 'I'll try not to' he said lightly, not particularly imagining anything good would come out of breaking all his bones. 'I suppose I'll need the practise after all if you expect me back tomorrow.' She still needed blood, and he would come as soon as he could. 'When I can come back I will.. and I'll wait until I see you to show myself' he said, deciding that was probably the best course of action.
He looked back at her once last time, debating whether or not to kiss her, but deciding against it at the last minute. It was best if they just leave now before anything else delayed them any more, and he took a few steps back to prepare himself.

She grabbed his hand when she saw he was about to jump, her instincts screaming at her to keep him here with her.
As soon as it was done however, she regretted her actions and display of weakness, and quickly let go of him again, giving him nothing but a stern glance. "Be careful," she told him as she stepped back from him, preventing herself from doing anything stupid again. She knew even if he was to reach the other end of the gap, there was still a major risk of him acting foolish on behalf of his pride and ego. She could hardly say anything without being hypocritical, but she did not want him to do anything that could cause them further consequenses in the future.
She stared at him until he jumped, wanting to take in every last glance of him before he was gone, but the look on her face was cold and determined, revealing no further emotions than her little slipup. She couldn't afford being weak in this moment. She could never afford being weak.

He looked down at her hand, but equally as fast as she held him did she let go, and he listened to her words carefully before deciding it was time to go. He had always said as much to her, and she had never listened, so he decided that he would do similar. He obviously would do what he could to ensure he was not hurt, but he equally would not hold back his anger towards the likes of the demons that had treated him poorly.
Taking a back up once more he ran, closing his eyes as he jumped, believing that whether he made it or not could not be determined through where he looked. To his suprise however he felt himself hit solid, only just, and unsturdily he moved away from the edge quickly. Looking back at Miriam he smirked, assuming he had by now got used to the distance. He looked over to the stairwell, and took steps backwards towards it, before he decided he had watched her for long enough and turned around to leave.

The smirk did nothing to reassure her, but accomplished quite the opposite. It only showed more of his over-confidence and stubbornness, and it frightened her to know just how easily he could get in trouble just for that attribute. She would not voice her fears however, only swallowed her tounge as she looked at him disappear. She remained where she was for a while before finally taking a few steps towards the stairs that led to the rectory. She didn't see any point in going downstairs, but she saw an equally little appeal in staying up here alone. Either way, she decided she had gone long enough without food, and however little appeasing the canned food sounded, it was better than her empty stomach.