Beating our Hearts

Miriam hugged her legs in the darkest corner of the spire, almost not visible with her dark hair falling over her and hiding most of her. It had taken some time for the effects of her deal to hit her, but she now felt cold, numb and overall empty, but there was no way to re-do the past.
Shivering she tried to keep her crying as quiet as possible, but at times a silent sob could not be helped. She didn't want anyone to hear her, or see her in the state she was in. The realization of what she had done hit her slowly, but with force, and looking down on the knife in her hands now, she hated it. It was beautiful, the blade sharper and smoother than she had ever seen, but she could not see what it was made of. Nor did she care.
She put the knife back in her bag and closed her eyes against her knees. What had she done?

He had run up the Spire steps in leaps and bounds, as panic set in. He knew deep down this is the only place she would go, and almost terrified to see her he turned around the final curve of the spiral staircase sharply, breathing heavily as he searched the seemingly empty floor. It was however only when the sounds of his only breath subsided that he could hear her crying, which was hardly a comfort. He knew deep down that as soon as she looked at her Calcifer's story would be confirmed, and yet he had no intentions of accepting that just yet.
'Look at me' he said, roughly as his voice reflected his own anger and panic. Taking a step forward towards her side of the Spire he repeated the command, this time louder.

His voice surprised her, and filled her with an endless longing however mad he might have sounded. She realized there were several things she had done since they had last parted that could have caused this reaction, and at first she was scared to obey his command and let him see the steady stream of tears down her cheeks, but when he repeated his words she felt forced to, and did as he asked.
Her eyes were wide and red, surprised and weak when she looked at him. She had expected to feel some kind of comfort when she looked at him, but instead her heart sank, her infinite sorrow only multiplied as she looked at him, and she quickly lowered her glance again.
Not only had she only made herself feel worse, she had revealed her true weakness to him, which was a blow almost bigger than the deal.

He only needed one glance to see her skin was marked, visible only be demons and yet clear enough to show of her recent actions. All he could do was turn away in shock, as he tried to process and more importantly cope with esssentially the loss of her. He knew all too well what it was like to be in her position, and from her expression he could see she was hurt. However he could not care as of now, too consumed by his own pain and anger at her stupidity.
He walked back away from her, resting his forehead against the wall as he tried to calm himself. However thinking only made him more angry, and he punched the wall in frustration before turning back to her. 'How could you be so fucking stupid?!' he shouted. He had already lost someone before as a result of a deal, and now it felt like history repeating itself. Naturally, it seemed, he had made a terrible mistake once again, and by ignoring what he had learnt was the only way to protect himself he had just made himself vulnerable, emotions raw and new resurfacing, which only made what he was feeling worse.

She wiped away her tears on her knees, but it took her a few seconds to regain the courage to stand up and look at him, her cold, stern facade returning to her face, though failing her. She often involuntary twitched, and it was evident that she would still be crying badly if she was not trying to keep herself together. Her teary eyes and shaking body was enough to give her away in any case, and she felt voulnerable standing in front of him.
She didn't know what he was upset about, and she was slightly afraid to find out, but she had to. However, she found no way of asking him that would not result in a mocking reply, so she simply waited for him to keep speaking and reveal what he had learned.

He stared back at her for a moment, but there was only so much he could take looking at her given that it was a constant reminder of what she had just done.
'I don't know why you are so upset' he spat. 'Anything you did you did by choice.' It was this choice that angered him so much, and he forced himself to look away at her so she did not notice that he himself was also shaking.
He shook his head. 'Your skin speaks far greater than words would' he muttered, when she continued to stand there dumbstruck. 'Go ahead and cry, it won't change anything.'

"My skin?" she asked confused, her voice shaking. The only thing that had changed on her skin was her wounds disappearing, and she had him to thank for that. Looking down on herself she couldn't spot anything at all different, and looked up at him with an uncertain look.
He was confusing her more than he was scaring her, and he was scaring her a lot. She did not want him angry now as he was essentially the only person she had left to rely on. The only person she even wanted to rely on.

He sighed, both sarcastic and exasperated. 'Do I really have to spell it out? I'm afraid when you sell something like that it becomes rather self-evident to the likes of myself and the rest of my kind' he said sourly. 'And so yes, the marks of your skin act as effective as if you had decided to shout it out to the world. Though of course my brief conversation with Calcifer seemed to reveal enough in itself.'
He took a deep breath, but still snapped. 'And so, I repeat my question. How could you possibly be such an idiot?!'

With that it became obvious what had upsetten him, but she didn't quite understand why he acted like he did. If anything he ought to be glad, or at least not care. In either case his persistent anger only made her angry as well in defence, and it clearly showed on her face.
"It doesn't make a difference," she stated, but she hugged herself as if suddenly self-aware and naked in front of him.
"Don't you think I was headed for Hell in either case?" she asked and smiled rather bitterly.

'No' he said honestly. 'I don't think you would qualify in the slightest.'
The entirety of his existence was now based around Hell and its kind. He however could not see Miriam in this picture, and regardless of what had happened in the time since he had arrived here he could still not see her actions as Hell worthy.
'But that does not matter now' he said, coldly. 'You now will have to live with the reprocussions of your actions for longer than you can possibly imagine.' He could feel himself almost recoil at the words, not wanting to have to associate her with them. He knew that whilst now she could not die, this would mean nothing to them. Her death would be the same as it always would have been- the end of the road for them. She would spend centuries upon centuries being crafted into nothing but an empty shell, as he supposed he was now. And all that would take over her would be resentment, for him and everything that made her decide to do what she did.

Her anger flared now, possibly fuelled by her own intense fear, and as he was the only one present she let it out on him.
"Ever since I met you you've been bragging about how being a demon is so fucking great! Lots better than being human right?! All the power you want, no weaknesses, do whatever the fuck you want with no fucking consequenses!" she yelled from across the other side of the gap, making faces as if to mock him. "And you're choosing now to tell me you were fucking lying?!"

'We make the most of what we have' he shrugged, emotionless. 'I have no choice with what I am, so I have to enjoy it or I would go insane. We cannot die, or escape it otherwise. You'll find out soon enough.' He had a feeling Calcifer would not have been generous- he certainly was not expecting she had 10 years as he had.
'Don't put any of this on me though' he glared. 'You made your choice and thats that.'

"You're wrong," she glared at him, more to win the argument, and maybe possibly change the subject than because she honestly cared.
"You can die," she said as emotionless as him and shrugged, thinking about the weapon in her bag however much it made her want to cringe. She was sure it couldn't be the only one of its kind, even if it was incredibly rare, and she was sure if this was truely as bad as he had made it sound there would be a way out if she looked long enough.. eventually.. there had to be.

'Maybe so but its a struggle as it is to get out of the Pit- I'm hardly going to find that means anytime soon. Plus I can enjoy myself on Earth, so I like to make the most of it rather than spend all my time trying to fund some form of suicide mission. Theres no pride in that.' Besides, he thought to himself, he only had his doubts at times like these when mostly he was bored and his company tiresome. Hell was only so good as your allies, otherwise it was torturous, and presently he was alone.

She was half tempted to hand the weapon over to him to do as he pleased, but she was scared he would take her up on the offer, and she would regret ever giving him the choice. Instead she took a step back, dragging the bag behind her with her foot as if she felt uncomfortable with the knife in such close proximity to Rin. She decided it was best not to tell him about it.
"Calcifer is hardly going to give the soul back any time soon. May as well look on the bright side," she mocked him instead.

'That won't last' he muttered, still not refusing to forgive her. 'You have no idea whats in store, and the fact you don't deserve it is only going to make your experience all the more enjoyable' he said sarcastically.
He still was refusing to look at her, not liking her skin as it now appeared to him. 'What did you get?' he finally asked weakly, in hopes whatever that was would be of some small use for now. She was not free as she had first said she would ask for, and thinking he could not imagine much else she would need. But clearly she had a price, as so much had already revealed.

"Eternity with you," she answered in a mocking tone, reluctant to tell him what she had really gained from their deal.
"Got my bag back as a bonus," she joked, but kept it hidden behind her legs, still not wanting it near him, even if he could not reach it from over the hole in the floor. She wasn't sure what she would tell him if he asked again. What if he took it from her?
To be honest it seemed the obvious choice for her. Had she not told him all too many times how all she wanted to do before she died was to drag as many demons as she possibly could down with her.

'Right' he answered sarcastically. 'You may be idiotic, but not that much.'
He only grew aggrivated that she would not tell him, but so be it if that was the case. He could not expect much from her. However in retaliation he only continued to scare her.
'Regardless, when you die you will not be with me, however much you like to imagine so. Depending on how much trouble I'm in I may momentarily share the pain you will, or even be giving it to you, but thats it and by all means nothing by comparison to what you will have to endure. And when its over I doubt much will remain except prehaps that sarky tongue of yours.'

His words had her tounge tied for a moment, her heart in her throat, not allowing a sound to come out, even as she opened her mouth. She knew it had been foolish to think this would fix their problems, but she hadn't assumed it would make them worse. She could not imagine loosing Rin now that she had grown to care for him. She could not even imagine herself not caring for him, even after all he had put her through.
"What's done is done," she said eventually, sounding as if she had resigned to her faith, even if it terrified her.

'Good luck sticking to that mindset' he said sarcastically. He knew he certainly had not, but off course prehaps that was because his deal had already had instant consequences. 'You have no idea what you have in store. And how long before you are ripped apart may I ask?' he added. Calcifer had not specified, but he hoped at least this she would.

"Three years," she blurted out quickly before she had time to fear the words, but quickly looked away after saying it.
"If I happen to survive that long, which we both know I won't." She hoped that this would at least make her short amount of time seem less severe, though she knew of course, that it was. Three years were simply the maximum, meaning even if she fought all odds, she would never grow to be over 21 years of age. Somehow that thought brought more tears to her eyes as she swallowed hard to prevent herself from sobbing.

He could not help but sigh at hearing how short she had agreed to. But he did not make his own sadness evident, instead frowning. 'You do realise its most commonly 10 years' he said, almost mockingly. It was all he could do to indicate to her that he was unphased, even if in reality he was not.
He had dealed in his early 20s, and died in his early 30s, which by all standards with his life was not far before his own expectations. She on the other hand had prehaps not even lived a quater of her natural life. 'At least you don't have the torture of waiting' he said slowly, sure it was the only advantage he could think of.

"What good would 10 years do me if I can barely survive each passing day?" she asked exasperated. She didn't like thinking about this, let alone talking about it, and as he seemed relatively unphased she could not think of a reason why he'd be telling her this if not for mocking her which she didn't like one bit. Usually she would not care for his failed attempts at mockery, but today she was simply not in the mood to fight him.
She sat back down on the floor, once agian hugging her legs and wishing there was a way for him to be closer now. However much anger was between them, she still could not deny the longing of his touch against her skin, wanting at least some small comfort, but she would not tell him as much. It was only a human weakness in his eyes, and a weakness she was reluctant to show.

'Well that I'm glad we can agree on something' he said bitterly, sitting down as she had. 'Now what do you need to know?' he said simply. It was the only thing he could think he could do to help, by letting her know as much as she could about what she had signed up for. At least then she could prepare herself, if only mentally, for what was to come.

"Nothing," she answered him. "If it's truely as bad as you make it sound, I'd rather not know, spending the rest of my short life dreading my next."
It was a fair point, but a cowardly one. She preferred not thinking on it, to pretend it had never happened. If only for now.
Somehow knowing he was upset only made her own depression worse. She had not only inflicted pain on herself, but unwillingly she had caused pain to the only person she could say she truely cared about, and she had not even considered the possibility of him caring at all.