Price of Kindness

Miriam had thought about dragging Proteus to the sitting room but realised quickly it was an often visited room. As she didn't want anyone else to see them she had, despite her weak, trembling body, dragged him as quickly as she could to the kitchen, where she knew few entered.
She knew if someone found themselves hungry she would be in a bad position, but as Proteus still lay unconcious on the kitchen floor she knew she could quickly lie and say a demon attacked them in the sanctuary. She had bruises and cuts of her own to back her story up, even if she had gained these at a different time. No one would know unless they questioned her, and they had no reason to do just that.
There was another reason the kitchen was useful in that moment she thought, as she wetted a cloth. She unwrapped Proteus' bloodied bandages and cleaned his wounds. She felt of course no compassion for him, and though he had been kind to her, she barely even knew the man. The mess he was in was entirely his fault, and though she had caused him the wounds he had not been prepared, and that could only be blamed on him. They both knew he was better with the sword, and hadn't Miriam been as quick as she had, this would have had an entirely different result she realized with a shudder.
No, there was no compassion in her at that moment, though she regretted her actions. If it were to her, she would have fled with Rin, but she knew she could not. Not only would he abandon her and let the other demons tear her to shreds, she would have no safe haven to return to later. Proteus needed to keep his mouth shut, and she needed to make sure he did just that. If that meant putting on false kindness to gain his trust once again then so be it. Better than the alternative that faced her. She could not be kicked out of the rectory, she would die in a couple of days.
She removed the jacket from the bloodied hip and let it soak in the sink. Then she threw the bandage from his hand in the bin and tore a new one from her clothing. She realized her stomach was now bare to her navel, but could not take notice of it, it was not of importance in that moment. When the jacket had dried she could cover herself with that instead she thought, hoping Proteus would not take it from her when he woke.
She needed to make him listen, and maybe lie a little, or a lot, to get out of this mess, and as she waited for him to wake her mind was running with different lies that could excuse what she had done. Sadly, none of them believable or realistic, but she had to try.

Proteus had fainted in the hallway only a few seconds after have tried to ask Miriam the reason of her action. The pain was terrible and faint was almost a benediction in that moment. He was sure he was going to die, if the wound wasn't deadly, and he wasn't sure about it, there was still Miriam that could kill him, not to mention the demon that he hadn't seen leave, too focused on his own pain. But he wasn't scared: he had fought for a right cause, he had tried, and if now it had to be his moment… well, he wouldn't have complained.
He was really sure that he would have never woke up again, and because of it his surprise was huge when he started to feel his body again: the first thing that interrupted his deep sleep was the pain. Unbearable, intolerable… he wanted to scream but he was too weak and breathless to do it. He needed a few minutes before to realize where he was, and what had happened. And before to see her…
Miriam was next to him… he still couldn't see her expression, his view was still blurred. Still trying to breath normally he stared at her with a confused glance: was she there to kill him once and for all? But then, why had she wait to him to wake up?

As she felt Proteus shuffle under her, she knew he was about to wake up. She whispered a silent curse as she was yet to come up with a convincing lie that could defend her actions. Instead she sighed, knowing Proteus was far too out of it to notice, and finished the bandage on his hand, pulling it tightly to make sure it was supporting enough for his wrist. He would not be able to use his hand in weeks if not months, but at least she had missed any major veins. She had had to move quickly, not being able to focus on the exact spot she had slashed his wrist, not the depth of it, but she was relieved beyond reason when she had examined it later, knowing he would not die.
His weak reaction she guessed, was what triggered her annoyance. She had gone through far worse pain than he had, yet she had never fainted. His hip was nowhere near any vital organs and yet he was acing as though he was about to die. She wondered what would have happened if she had let Rin had a go at him. Rin was weaponless of course, and would doubtless loose that fight, but he would not have been as merciful as she had.
She shook her head, before overlooking the bandage she had put on him, making sure it was not too tight and not too loose before she got up and pulled the jacket from the sink, letting it dry over the edge of the counter. Only then did she go back to him, and sat down by his side.
She was nothing but annoyed at him, and yet she knew this was not the time for arrogance and pride. Forcing tears to her eyes she let a couple fall down her cheeks as she looked at him, wiping them away with exaggerated handmovements to make sure he was the tears. This would doubtless get to him, as Miriam was not one to become as weak as she was looking in that moment, and she hoped he would believe her remorse.
"I'm so sorry Proteus," she whispered, faking a breaking voice.

He needed a couple of more seconds to focus on Miriam's face: she was… crying? Miriam? He couldn't believe his eyes, nor his hears when she talked: she didn't seem so sorry when she had attacked him…
With a grimace of pain he moved to sit on the floor, and only in that moment he noticed that she had took care of his wounds, both the hip and… the hand. He realized how painful was also that wound only when he tried to use it to sit better: he cried in pain, giving up and using only the other hand. Then he looked at Miriam again: a serious glance, looking at her in the eyes.
"Why have you done it?" and, even more that the attack, he was talking about the help she had given to the demon.

She gave him a frustrated look once he looked away to watch his wounds, but as soon as his eyes were on her again, the same remorseful expression was in place. He would never know the difference, and she thanked the Heavens Proteus was too naive to see through her.
The question stopped her short in the middle of a silent prayer as she realized she did not have an answer, and ended up staring at him blankly instead. She didn't know what to answer him, and for a couple of seconds she panicked, the fear and regret in her eyes for once honest.
"I... I don't know," she answered honestly, but pulled herself back in when she realized how pathetic she was being, not just because of her disguise.
"He would've killed you, if I hadn't acted first," she muttered, knowing she didn't make sense, but the half-finished excuse in her head was all she had now and all she could tell him. "I thought.. if I did, I could... I could make sure you survived," she said, wanting to smile at him, but her face felt carved in stone, and she could not no matter how much she tried to force herself.

At her reply his glance didn't change: he was serious, slightly frowned, and obviously angry. He kept looking at her, staring into her eyes. Was she saying the truth? Was she serious? If she wanted just to let that monster escape she could even avoid to hit him that hardly, and however this didn't explain why she was with a demon.
"Why were you helping that… that monster?" he asked in the same tone. He had always been and understanding person, a kind one, but there were situation where even him couldn't act so softly.
Maybe she had to act like this, maybe the demon had somehow forced her, maybe she didn't have a choice… he wanted to believe it, but he wasn't sure that it was the truth: she was strong, and he knew it… and if it was the truth… then why refuse his help in that moment? They were two against one demon...

"Because he helps me," she blurted out, not realizing what she was saying, but as soon as the words had escaped her mouth she saw it as an opportunity for an excuse. Probably not an excuse Proteus would accept, but a realistic excuse that he would believe. It would be like her do to something similar, not for the sake of friendship or kindness, but for the sake of her own gaining in the future. He would understand that.
"He's not an ally I feel proud of having, but think about it!" she pleaded with him. "Information, weapons, help, I've lost count of how many times he's kept me alive, Proteus, please understand, I need him for now, we both do. Our side is loosing the war, but with his help, maybe... I don't know.." she sighed, honestly exasperated as she tried to think of more to excuse herself with.
"When this is done, he'll be exorcised with the others, but for now there is no reason not to use him.."

When she firstly replied he couldn't believe his own hears: he… helped her? Was she kidding? She considered him an ally? He was a demon! He couldn't believe she was talking seriously…
"Miriam he's a demon! He's not your ally, if he has helped you I can't even imagine what other worse reasons he has to do so!"
He couldn't help but shout at her: it was just too much for him. But then he closed his eyes, breathed and, slightly calmer, he continued "Miriam, lose your soul creating an alliance with a demon is far worse than lose this war. You can't create an alliance with him!" his tone now was softened, and more worried for her.

"I'm well aware of his reasons," she muttered annoyed, but when she looked up at him she managed to press more tears to her eyes.
"And I didn't sell my soul for it! Rin is strong. Or well, stronger than humans. Still pathetically weak, but better than..." she started ranting in a murmur because she was unsure of what to say, but quickly stopped herself once she realized she was making the situation worse. Admitting to knowing his name was bad enough in itself as it proved a personal relationship she was not willing to admit to Proteus at any cost.
"He's safe. And when I no longer need him, it will be easier than taking a piss to get rid of him," she said, not minding her own language at that moment, she was getting annoyed because her excuses were not working. She knew it was true enough though, if she wished to exorcise Rin nothing could be easier in the state he had admitted to her. That didn't mean she wanted to exorcise him though...

"Rin?" he repeated widening his eyes in surprise "You… you know his name…" It wasn't a question, it was only a constatation. That was… bad. Really bad. When she mentioned that the demon's weakness was still better that his he felt actually hurted: she hadn't finished the phrase but the messaged had been clear enough. He was doing his best, but he couldn't help: he was not a warrior. But it wasn't his fault if she had preferred to choose a so dangerous ally!
"Miriam, please, try to be reasonable: he's a demon, he can't be your ally. You can't use him, you shouldn't even talk to him: next time that you see him you should just exorcise him. Please Miriam, listen to me…" he looked at her with a honestly worried glance: she probabaly, really probably, didn't see him as a friend, but he still cared for her, no matter she had just stabbed him...

"He's not dangerous," she muttered, knowing as much was true even if she wouldn't have believed it herself if she was in Proteus' place. In a sense she felt almost proud of him for standing up. Proud even that he had learned from his previous mistakes and tested Rin.
Quickly however, she realized that this approach was not the one that would make him stay quiet, and she simply nodded her head. What Proteus didn't know wouldn't hurt, and though she would promise to exorcise him, she would simply keep the real truth away from Proteus.
"You can't tell anyone..." she said in a pathetic, begging voice. He knew what the rest of the humans would make of her if this came out, did he not?

When she nodded he wasn't really convinced that she would have followed his words, but he sighed and nodded himself: she was stubborn, hew knew it, if he wanted her to open her eyes he surely wouldn't have had success in a few hours.
At her words he looked at her, serious again, before to reply "I won't put you in danger, don't worry." he said, slowly putting the not hurted hand on her shoulder.

ooc: hun, have you received my pm on YT? x3

This surprised her, she had been sure that it would not be so easy to persuade him, and she was also sure if the roles were reversed she would not have hesitated with turning him in. She could not believe he was being this kind to her, or why he was being as foolish as he was.
The hand on her shoulder made her blush realizing how foolish she had been, and what a mess she had gotten herself into. Above all how pathetic she had been made her face turn red in an instant, and she quickly removed his hand, not liking the sick feeling of guilt it gave her.
"You're stupid to trust me," she said, back to her old self. It was true, and a fair warning. She felt he deserved to know.

[OOC: Yes, but school's over, and no time to reply ^^'' Don't have internet at home, so this will be my last reply. Bye!]

When she blushed and removed his hand from her shoulder he sighed and then, in a sad but soft tone, he replied "I didn't say I trust you." It was true: he couldn't just forget what had just happened. He liked Miriam, he really wanted to protect and help her and he hoped she would have chosen the right path to follow, but he couldn't trust her, not in that moment. "But as I said, I won't put you in danger. And I forgive you" he continued with a hint of a smile on his face, but moving a bit the wound hurted again, leaving him breathless again. After a few second, when he was able to talk again, he continued trying to have a joking tone "Though I beg you to not do it again"

"I'll try," she muttered and faked the hint of a smile, but wasn't sure if she meant it. If the situation came where it was necessary to hurt him, she would do so without hesitation. She would however try to keep herself out of such a situation, so her words rung true in a sense.
She looked at him with wonder, almost expecting him to tell her it was all a joke. Any second now he would go back on his word and stab her in the back. Maybe he was simply too scared of her as she still had her weapon and he was essentially useless. Maybe he did not mean what he said, but would save it for later, when he was strong enough to fight back. In a battle they both knew Proteus would walk away with the victory, leaving Miriam cold and bloodied on the ground. She was sure he would betray her later, but there was nothing she could do to prevent what she thought. Instead, all she could do was stay nice to him for the time being, hoping he would not do as she feared. Perhaps she was just paranoid, perhaps he really was that foolish.
"Can you walk?" she asked, but it didn't look like it. If Proteus was to push himself she was sure he could, or at least limp. It was only his hip after all, and she had not hit anything important. It would hurt yes, but no doubt he could walk. She glanced at him a little annoyed at his weakness. Sure he was stronger than her in brutal strength and the ways of combat, but a little wound would send him straight to the ground screaming.
She didn't take the time to listen to his answer before she walked away from him sighing. She knew he could handle himself perfectly fine without her babysitting. He just needed to push himself a little, toughen up. He needed that if he was to survive in the hellhole they found themselves in now.
"I got stuff to do," she muttered, the annoyance showing slightly in her voice, but she had left the room before she had the chance to say something she might have regretted saying at a later stage. The wreck of clashing emotions inside her was too much, she just needed some free time.

When she asked him if he could walk, he nodded and started to raise up, but stopped for a moment, surprised by the girl's rush. "Ok…" he replied unsure, frowning and looking at her leave: he wondered what she was been going to do, and if it was connected to that demon… he sighed, he was however too weak in that moment to follow her, she was fast and he couldn't be sure she wouldn't have attacked him again. Beside, he had something do do… he had to talk to Frollo and, even more important for him, he needed to see Cindy... with a last efford and a grimace of pain he raised up, he standed a bit recovering from the pain and then, overcoming it, he started to walk to leave the kitchen