Bite my Tongue

He looked back at her as she spoke, readying himself to leave, but he could not immeadiately once he saw her expression. Staying close to he murmered 'probably' in response, but did not move. Instead he leaned in one more time, fiercly kissing her as if to ensure that the memory would remain vivid in his mind. Gently he pressed himself against her as he enjoyed the ease he felt when they were this close, knowing this would not last nor would help him in the long term. But yet could not pull himself away as soon as he would like, and he continued to kiss her with greater need than before.

She let her hands rest on his chest as she kissed him back, enjoying the feeling of him, but though she could never be happier or more free than she was in his arms, tears sprung to her eyes, and though she fought to not let them escape her eyes they were still visible in her wet eyes as she stared at him, and though her hands were still clutching to him, she forced her lips to pull away from him at once, before she got too weak to resist him any longer. She still felt the nagging pain of letting him go, but it was the only thing she could do, and the only thing right.
His skin, his smell, his lips, everything about him drew her in, but in a painful moment she realized it was not his at all. As much as she wished to pretend he was real, only the pitchblack eyes staring back at her with a hollow emptiness could be considered a part of him.
"You're a demon," she said sternly, though her voice broke slightly at the last word. She forced herself to blink away her tears though he had already seen them, and reluctantly let go of his chest before she stepped back towards the stairs again.
She smiled to herself, but it was a bitter smile at her own stupidity for falling the way she had. She was angry, but mostly at herself. Weirdly she realized she could not turn her anger against Rin no matter how much she wanted to hate him. This was not his fault, it was only her own.
"How can you feel? You don't even own a heart of your own," she said again once the tears were gone, staring him down mostly because she could not make herself look away from him. She knew this moment would be the one to make her cry, the one to break her. She realized he had finally won, finally accomplished what he wished for, but she did not let him see it, and in either case she no longer cared.

Reluctantly he let her go, not arguing with her as he tried to push down what he was feeling as he had done for so long before and go back to not caring. Watching her he resisting the instinct to wipe her eyes or pull her back, instead staring coldly at her. Very soon his expression turned from suprise to frustration, and he grew angered over how she had led him on- allowed him to become so weak and confused- only to deny him at the last minute. Surely after all they had done, all he had confessed, that this was simple enough to ask.
'All a heart does is pump, and keep the body alive' he muttered, emotionless. 'Regardless of whether or not we own these bodies, what truely counts beyond the mask is ours.'

She looked away as he spoke, not feeling her heart strong enough to both look at his face and listen to his voice at the same time, but she quickly looked back at him when it was her turn to speak. The hurt was clear in her watery eyes, not well hidden even under her frown.
"You slaughtered my family! My friends! Anyone I ever knew, and now you expect me to run into your arms like some lovesick idiot?!" she yelled at him as she took a step closer. "Last time I saw you, you soaked me with the blood of some innocent human! You're nothing short of an inhuman, cold-hearted and cruel monster!" she kept yelling until tears were running down her cheeks. Why was he doing this to her?
"Besides," she said as she forced herself to calm her breathing, even if her heart was still reluctant to slow down. "You're a demon. Some things you just can't feel," she stated before she punched him as hard as she could in the chest. Though weak it was enough to make him take a step back.
"Some unfortunate guy just felt that. Tell me when you do."

He took a step back, shocked and extremely frustrated at the gesture. Even if he had not felt it physically, the action hurt far beyond that.
Looking up at her, clearly suprised, it took him a moment to compose himself before he spoke, his voice now spiteful and cruel.
'Your family and friends would have been taken from you sooner or later, regardless of the when and the how. You too could have joined them, but you ran from us when you could, and so be it if thats what you chose but you cannot argue I'm keeping you apart from them!' He glared at her, staying away rather than reaching out and trying to harm her in case getting close would stop him in his tracks. 'Besides, all humans are the same. I thought you would know that!'
He clenched his fists to relieve some of the anger coursing through his veins and etching out of his voice. There was a reason he had lost these emotions long ago. When they re-surfaced all they did was cause pain.

"You're right," she told him, but the sarcasm cut deep. "But so are you. Just like any other demon out there!" she said and frustated pointed out into thin air as if that would somehow show she meant the other demons trapped in the cathedral.
"You steal kisses, you rape, you gloat, you lie, you kill..." She had to take a break as her voice broke on the last word she uttered, more tears quickly forming in her eyes before she could gain control of them. She realized she was pathetic in that moment, but so was he, and justified by that she could not make herself care of her appearances in that instant. She only cared for the words she uttered.
"I don't understand why I feel any more for you than for any other slimeball slick enough to kiss me, but don't think it means anything. I meant what I said before, feelings are only a weakness if you give into them." She spoke her words seemingly with such determination and certainty, but she could not help the continuous stream of tears down her face, or the heartbroken expression on her face as she stumbled backwards, away from him.

'I told you again and again that you were crazy' he said through clenched teeth. 'And you chose now, after messing with my head for long enough, to agree with me.'
He stared back at her sternly, unwilling to look as pathetic as she was right now. He may be upset, but anything he felt he converted to rage and therefore nothing reflected in his expression.
'Why on earth would you expect any better?' he said. 'At least I make no attempts to hide what I am.' He knew very well half of what Miriam did was a show, and he personally was not sure who it was meant to prove.

She couldn't believe he blamed her for his feelings, as if this had ever been her intentions. She had never even known he was able to feel the way he did, and honestly still had her doubts, and so how could she ever have wasted her time playing with his so-called feelings?
The calm, cold glare he sent her was enough to snap her out of her pathetic breakdown for only just a minute, and she dried her tears on the sleeve of Proteus' already blood-stained jacket before she looked at him again, trying out a calmer, more rational responce.
"We both know I'm dying," she sighed as she stared into his pitch black eyes. It was not a lie, it was what she honestly believed.
"My side of the war is pathetically weak, and besides me, we only got two guys actually willing to do something both of them pathetically useless, and one of them literally having to be told whatever he does. Don't fool yourself, my side is loosing fast, and I'm sure once your demon buddies find out about this, they won't want to save me for last. I'm dying sooner or later, so save yourself the trouble trying to keep me alive."

He stared at her for a moment, thrown by her words. He knew they were true, but of course that did not stop them hurting as he was forced to hear them. No matter what he did she could not survive in here and he knew he would have not cared half as much as he did now if it were not for the fact she had messed with him and got under his skin. Of course this was all the more a reason why human emotions like these were entirely useless, and angry over how patronising she was being he stepped away from her.
'I hardly denied that' he muttered. 'I merely told you I personally cannot.' He sighed, annoyed as he wondered whether he would soon change his mind about that. 'Its not like this world ever turns out that way.'

She didn't know what to do as she stared at him. He seemed so honestly upset, like she had never expected to see him, and yet she could not make herself fully believe him. This had all come too sudden for her to realize the true impact of his words. For him too feel anything at all would be unbelievable in itself, but she was nothing but a mere human to him. An easy pray he was taught to kill. So why?
"If this is all just a trick you're more evil than I thought you to be," she said, voice shaking only the slightest. It was obvious she did not fully believe him, but how could he possibly expect her to. They were what they were and nothing else, the mere idea seemed impossible in every sense of the word. The thought that this could, in any universe, work or last for even a day seemed too absurd to even consider, so she simply chose not to.
"But if not..." she started, but stopped herself realizing she didn't know how to end her sentence.

He did not bother finishing her sentence, unwilling to fall into another one of her mind games again. Instead he stared back at her coldy, not speaking.
'Unlike you I don't have time for games' he muttered eventually. By now it was obvious what decision she had made, and he did not have time for that. Of course she would only see him at face value- what his eyes showed her rather than anything else. She was human, he did not understand why he was deluding himself that she wouldn't act like everyone else.

"Who's playing games?" she asked him with a cold stare back. She had feelings for him yes, no doubt, but he had been the one to bring them to this point. He had been the one to speak up and put her against a corner. Who was really the one to play games? She had told him from the start her decision and had never backed down on it. He was the one constantly going back and forth and majorly confusing her to no end.
"If not... you're stupider than I thought you were," she said, finally finishing her sentence as she found the words she were looking for.
"You better leave," she said as she nodded towards the demon side of the spire. She was feeling the tears push back and she did not know how long she could stay strong and only prayed that he would be gone before she broke down again. For now however she kept a cold expression.

He stared her out, not willing to follow her orders. He wanted to leave too, but at the same time he was still reluctant. He knew she would not change her mind, but that did not make him want to return to his fellow demons any more.
'Why would I start listening to you?' he muttered, not budging. He kept his eyes fixed on her, waiting for her to leave first. Otherwise he would stand his ground. 'You want to leave, you go' he glared. 'But I have no place to go. So I shall do what I like in the meanwhile.'

She stared back at him, equally reluctant to move an inch, but she quickly felt herself loosing grip on her strength, and before she knew it her face was involuntarily twitching as her jaw shook. It didn't take more than a second before the tears followed, and soon she could not stare back at him though the veil of tears that clouded her vision. Yet, she did not move an inch, her legs too weak to carry her.
She closed her eyes tightly, unwilling to face the shame and mockery he was bound to send her way after seeing her like this, and when she opened her mouth to speak again the only thing that escaped her mouth was quick, heavy breaths revealing her crying if the tears had not already been visible enough. She damned him for not listening when she had first asked him, but damned herself more for breaking in front of him at the worst time possible.

He stared at her bemused, not particularly sure what kind of trick she was playing this time. Keeping his feet rooted firmly to the ground he did not look away from her, instead fixated on the state she was in.
'Don't look so pathetic' he muttered. 'This is your own doing!'
He eventually looked away from her, the mess she was in enough for him to turn his nose up at how petty she was. 'If you need to go, go' he said, annoyed. 'But don't stay here if all you are going to do is fall into some pathetic heap.'

She had felt it coming, the hard slap of mockery without hesitation, but it still felt as if he had suddenly hit her with a sledge hammer.
The blow was enough to pull her out of her pathetic state, and though her heart only ached ten times more from his words, she glared at him with a cold harsher than winter nights and pushed him with weak arms, almost snaring if it hadn't been for the leftover, uncontrollable sobs.
"I have never felt more than hate for you, don't ever doubt that," she spat, and she managed to make herself believe her own words for a split second, though they were not true. Mostly she would always hate him of course, but she knew there was more, she just hoped he didn't.

'So.. now of all times? Not after when I murdered or family or friends, like you said? Or i covered you in human blood? Or I told you how i had just fucked some demon? Now when I have essentially done nothing you hate me the most!' He glared at her. 'This is entirely your decision. Do not drag me into this!'
He stepped back from her, not wanting to be near. He knew she would leave soon, that or do something stupid, but he would not yet go.

She didn't answer him, rather glared at him as her eyes filled with more hatred and more sorrow. In a fit of anger she let her foot slide across the floor, kicking the plank they had used to cross, but not taking her eyes off Rin as it fell to the ground beneath the spire.
She let her lips form a thin, straight line before she cocked her head mockingly, narrowing her eyes as if that would somehow mock him further. There was nothing he could do now and he knew it, they both did. A part of her already felt guilty for her actions, but the other was gloating far too much for her to notice. Her cocky, arrogant smile suddenly appeared whilst she glared at him as if to ask him what he was going to do about it.

He looked down as the plank fell in shock, dumbstruck as he realised the implications of that. When he eventually snapped out of his eyes flashed back her way, his expression now completely angry.
'Why the fuck did you do that?!' he shouted, pushing her back himself. His only options now were to jump, and most likely break his bones and be caught by some human, or go through the rectory and have the same happen. And he had already established he did not want to be exorcised.
He continued to shout at her. 'You do realised I'm completely fucked now?!' he glared. 'How the hell do you think I can get out of this?'

She pushed him off her, not wanting him to touch her any longer.
"I don't," she answered simply with a smug smile, finally back to her old self. It was true, she didn't expect him to get out of the mess she had put him in, but to be fair it had only been his own fault after putting himself in a volnurable situation. He couldn't exactly blame her.
She knew he was mad, but she was also fairly certain he would still not attempt to kill her, and sure of herself she started walking towards the stairs.

He grabbed her, not letting her leave. 'You can't seriously just expect me to wait here?' he said.
She had already saved him once after being given the oppurtunity to get rid of him, and he strongly doubted she would be willing to just let him go this time.
However he had a certain level of pride, and he was not willing to beg. If it came to it he would jump, and he hoped she knew that.

She spun around to face him, the touch burning her as if his skin was on fire. The smile was off her face in an instant, replaced by a cold, cruel glare at him, wanting him to know her next words were deathly serious. He had pushed her too far and he would regret it.
"I don't expect you to do anything. Clean up your own fucking mess," she told him before trying to wriggle out of his grasp. Though he was weak, so was she and she wished he would just let go of her. Seeing him was bad enough, but his skin always left a permanant scar on her.

He refused to let go of her, gripping her arm tight. 'Its your mess too' he said. 'I am not letting go until I get out of here, and if that involves me jumping then I'm afraid you come down with me'.
He wasn't sure how she could, but he was certain she would figure out a way. 'Go on then!' he said, growing frustrated.

She sighed frustrated with him. Though the solution was rather obvious and simple she wasn't sure if she wanted to share it with him after what he had done. However she assumed that it was better than the alternative he was offering, so she simply calmed herself down and said:
"Turn your eyes." The humans would not let a demon walk out of the rectory unharmed, but if they never knew he was a demon at all there would never be a problem. Another demon had managed the same thing, so she couldn't see that Rin would have any problems.

He smiled, knowing she had given in. Nodding he happily accepting, clearing his eyes to their usual human form.
'I assume humans are too stupid to know their own kind then?' he smirked.
If this was all he needed to do to walk in then he wondered why exactly they weren't all dead already.
'And you need to clear the traps for me' he added. 'I don't want this to turn into another one of your tricks.'